---Just pretending---

It's been a while since I started pretending that your heart beats faster when I call you, since I started pretending that you are a part of me, that you actually care, that you actually love and cheerish the little details of my crazy writtings... it's been a while since I started pretending that you dream of me every night, that you smile at the thought of me, that you miss me as much as I miss you... it's been a while, and I think that it's now a part of me, I've believed it so firmly for so long now, that it hardly even matters if it's truth or not, if your love is real or not, I just need to pretend it is, I need to believe it is, I just can't imagine my life in anyother way...
I don't really know what to say, I can't find the right words to express what I feel when I'm looking at you and realize that it's almost impossible for me to discern the limit between heaven and your eyes, so I'll just keep pretending that your smile is mine, that your nose wrinkles for me, and that your feet run towards me everytime we are not together... I'll just keep pretending, for my dream becomes in fact real everytime I feel your hand in mine